I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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