I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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