i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i think my cat just said my name.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
