I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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