I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
