Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
