So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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