all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
