It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So vagazzling was a success
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
