do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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