I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
