i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
