i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
