hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize