one two three fourrrrnication!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
