We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
NoShamevember. You game?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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