the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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