Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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