and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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