my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
