My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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