You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
