drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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