i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
