I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
