We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
