But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
