Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
