He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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