dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
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Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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