I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
