I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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