Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
