On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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