Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
