Apparently you make a good broom.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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