Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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