Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
