Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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