I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
