Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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