Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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