OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
