you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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