Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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