Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
