it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC