Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.