i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
