The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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