Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
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OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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