just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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