i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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