dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
