I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
