I got chris browned last night
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
