a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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