they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
